The Weak Link - Achilles Heel

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Bob Cooley explaining what a weak link is in someone's personality and the significance of transmuting that into a gift.

Physical, Thinking, Emotional, Spiritual

Defining What a Weak Link Is, Childhood Trauma and the Formation of a Weak Link, Subsequent Stunted Growth and Personality Development, Using Your Trauma as Your Gateway Out of Your Weak Link, Turning Your Weak Link into a Gift and Experiencing That

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Transcript

(Revised and Edited For Easier Readability and Additional Clarity)

I think we need to talk about a really heavy topic. It's called a weak link in a person's personality or, what some people call in more mythological terms, an Achilles' Heel in a person. There's a very big issue about people having a childhood trauma that's quite severe for that person. And then what's the effect of that trauma on the person for the rest of their life if that trauma doesn't get turned into a gift? Well, what happens is that in childhood, sometimes people have an experience where there's a boundary invasion that occurs and then the person can't really handle that. And then some part of their personality they disconnect from when they're in that situation. So, it's not the situation itself that's causing it; that's what's happening outside. It's the person's interface with that which determines what ends up happening to that person. Because people can have very similar traumas, but they interface with it very differently.

 

So, what happens is that this huge trauma occurs that the person, for whatever reason, isn't capable of handling. And then what happens is a person disconnects from some part of their personality. Now, I think there are 16 Genetic Personality Types and I think somebody's born a particular type. So, then they have all these other 15 parts of themselves that are not such a 24/7 affair, but they're still parts of a person. And some people have developed more of these parts of their personality than others. But when you have a trauma, you've disconnected from some part and now that part is thwarted from developing. Well, when you're disconnected from that, that part of you is a source for another part of yourself. In other words, if you remembering that in terms of talking about muscle groups, if you are going to stretch your bicep then your tricep has to shorten and if you want to strengthen your bicep, your tricep has to lengthen. So, if your bicep is your target muscle group, the muscle on the other side is really the limiting factor for either strengthening your bicep or stretching your bicep. So, those are called balancing muscle groups. So we'd say that the source for your bicep is actually your tricep and vice versa. So, when you have a part of your personality that you got disconnected from, then what happens is that it can't actually be the source for the balancing muscle group.

 

So, say somebody was sexually abused as a child and they disconnected from a part of themselves (let's say the Sexual personality type) in response to that trauma. Then what happens is that part of a person (the Sexual Type) is balanced by the thinking part of a person (the Brain Type), which is a problem-solving, psychological part of a person. And so, what happens is that psychological part now doesn't have its source to develop. So a person develops a false representation of that personality type and the source of it doesn't get developed. So for a person, where if the trauma was, say sexual, then what happens is intimacy doesn't get developed. They no longer have that capacity to interface with the world in a way where their intimacy gets developed and instead they get this false representation of the balancing type of that, or the Brain personality type.

 

So here we are. When you meet people all the time, what happens is that you like certain things about them and after you hang out with them for a while, some things about them seems a little off or bother you. And often times, people think that's what that person's actually like. They think that's their personality. "You know Jeffrey, he's so critical." "You know Mary, she's always in a bad mood." Or whatever that's like. But that's probably not the person. People aren't like that, they're like plants, they grow, they develop, they produce. That's what a person's really like. So, when they're stuck in something, I wouldn't assume that's the person. And in other words, if you meet somebody and they were really critical, then it means some part of them isn't developed. And instead of being ambitious, they're hypercritical. So, if you have a car and you have a flat tire, you don't throw out the car or blame the car. You fix the tire. So when you meet somebody, and they're not particularly functioning in a certain way, why throw them out as a person? Why don't you just assume some part's not working and fix that part? In other words, reconnect them to the part of them that when it doesn't work it creates this irritating part for you. So that for most people is not just generally true about personality traits, it's true about a childhood trauma.

 

And so, what happens is that when you identify that on a person (and you can identify that physically because physically that shows up as scar tissue in one of 16 muscle groups, one of the eight above muscle groups or one of the eight muscle groups below) and when you do and the person starts to naturally stretch either by self-stretching or by assisted stretching, they start to remove that scar tissue out of their body. And then that trauma that was housed in their body, you're starting to remove that trauma. And when you do, that person starts to get connected to what they were disconnected from for whatever reason during that trauma. They did that. So, there's two things that are really important here, and one thing is that you don't want to blame the trauma itself. That's obvious that caused it. But your response to it is your only gateway to change it. So the real issue is like, not the details of what happened, but what was going on with you when that happened to you. So, in the case of, say, a mental abuse, a person stops associating. If it's a physical abuse, they stop relating. If it's a spiritual abuse, they stop connecting. And if it's an emotional abuse, they stopped attaching. So, that's their response to it. So, knowing more about the event isn't going to free the person from the trauma, although it can help. What helps is finding out, were they really sad after that? Did they feel bizarre, or messed up in a certain way? What's going on with them? And that's the part that now needs to be developed. And if you develop that part, you take that intense trauma and you turn it into a gift and a gift that's way beyond anything you would've ever imagined developing.

 

So, when you want to develop a garden, an organic garden to grow your food, you create incredible compost for that food to grow out of. Well that trauma, that intense childhood trauma, is like compost and if you know how to transmute it, you can create a gift, a talent, an intelligence, a relating style, a form of emotionality, a spiritual value system that far exceeds what most people would actually be able to develop in most cases. And so, instead of thinking, "Oh, I had this trauma and so now I'm messed up." We're like, "Oh no, you now have an incredible opportunity if you know how to be educated about taking that out of your body." That's natural stretching. And when you do that, you'll actually start to be connected in life with things inside of you and outside of you that, your response to the trauma, stopped that from happening. And so, now you're re-engaged in the world in order to develop yourself and when you do that, that happens really fast. That's like a bottle of wine that's been in the cellar for like, 20, 30, 40, 50 years. That starts to really mature very quickly. So, here you had this trauma in childhood, and you think, "Oh god, I've had this trauma for 30 years. It's going to take forever to come out of it." That's not what it's like! Healing's not like that. The nature of healing has acceleration in it incredibly so that trauma, as you start to dismantle it, you start growing up at a very fast rate compared to a normal person growing up. That's an acceleration of your development and you get connected to personality traits in life, in people, in events, and then you start attracting really positive things into you that before couldn't come to you because you had disconnected, or stopped attaching, or stopped associating, or stopped relating. And so, now the world opens to you and starts coming to you in exactly the opposite way, in incredibly positive ways. And you start releasing and letting go of your negative expectations that it's going to happen again or that negative things are going to happen to you. You start letting that go and extremely positive things come to you well beyond anything you ever imagined.

 

So here it is, the person and they have this part of them. They have their personality (conscious mind), they have their unconscious balancing personality and somewhere in between that, or it could be in their type, is a trauma that's interrupting the flow of that balance in the person. And if you find that in the body, not hard to find, and then you remove that dense fascia and scar tissue, you become more balanced, and more successful and get to have a really great time. It's a very big deal. It's probably the core of a person's psychological work that they need to work on in their life; is to identify that. It's known by them and everyone else. And get help from yourself and other people, and let that turn into an incredible gift for you. That's called the weak link.